the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
