so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
