honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
