great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
