Fine. I'll sleep in my office
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
