Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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