you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
