This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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