I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
