The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
