gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
