I'm lost and stupid without you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
