So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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