I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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