I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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