Girls should come with a carfax report
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
