You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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