dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
