eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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