I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
