Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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