Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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