Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I have aggressive nipples.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
