I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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