I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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