Do you still have your period?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
