I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
