I think i peed on brittanys purse
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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