I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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