It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just pee around me
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I need to align my fucking chakras
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
