We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
