I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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