Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
