All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
