Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
