ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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