____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
