maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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