her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
