Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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