I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
