2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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