Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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