If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
