Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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