Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
