She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
