You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
