id be glad to
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I could fuck to npr.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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