Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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