I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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