if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
